open letter to able-bodied people: stop using the handicapped button!

For those of you who don’t know, I work at the PLU concierge desk. I have a number of important jobs, one of them being sitting at the snazzy looking desk and smiling at the patrons as they enter the University Center. To my immediate left is a set of big glass windows and doors. It looks like this:When entering the building you pull the door, and when exiting the building you push the door. This is a very rudimentary process. Or so I thought. And to be in compliance with the "Americans with Disabilities Act," the doors are equipped with a fancy button that a handicapped person can opt to push. The button actives a mechanism to open one of the doors to allow easier access. (As a side note, pushing this button once requires the same amount of energy that it takes to operate a light bulb for 17 hours!) This button, as I understand it, was designed to be used for those who are otherwise physically incapable of opening the doors themselves. But apparently that is not the case according to the populace of PLU. Indeed, my fellow Lutes, it seems, have taken to pushing the button when they are cold. Yes, as in chilly. As in, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! Not only is it a disgusting display of laziness, but I don't think the buttons are designed to accommodate so much handicapped-ness. The school is going to have to replace the mechanism at a much faster rate if this continues. Personally, I really don't want my tuition bill to cover this. Also, I don't know much about the laws of physics, but I do know that the path the airwaves take when the doors are activated leads directly to the chair I sit in. Actually, I think I remember the law. It's called Murphy's.

Anyhow, so the other morning I opened the desk at 7am and after witnessing a number of seemingly normal, healthy, able-bodied people use the handicapped button I decided it was time to take a few notes. I figured this would be a much more constructive outlet for my frustration than these individuals themselves.

And so, for the duration of this blog, I am going to provide you with a catalog. A count of various elements of my experience with the door and its button, which should give you a feel for precisely how infuriating this was for me...

• Number of people who entered/exited the building: 423
• Number of people who pushed the handicapped button: 27
• Number of people who pushed the button who had a valid reason for doing so: 1
• Percentage of people who used the button for entry: 6.4%
• Percentage of people who didn't need the button, but used it: 96.3%
• Number of seconds the door stays open upon activation: 20
• Number of seconds I received an unnecessary gust of cold, freezing air: 540

You get the idea?

I'm not trying to be a baby. I don't like to complain. But I'm just saying, it was cold. In fact, it was so cold in my little area that my boss called facilities management and had them bring a space heater up:I'd like to conclude with a short and sweet letter to able-bodied people:

Please stop.